


a dumb green day group chat

by greengay409



Category: Green Day
Genre: High School AU, M/M, This Is STUPID, and very gay, group chat au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-05-03 02:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14558505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greengay409/pseuds/greengay409
Summary: gayson: im going to sleep goodnightbing bong: sleep tightdominated love slave: don't let billie eat your asshole





	1. jimmy neutron

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Group Chat AU That Nobody Asked For](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8232398) by [Reddxn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reddxn/pseuds/Reddxn). 



> Billie - bing bong  
> Mike - milk dork  
> Tré - dominated love slave  
> Jason - gayson

bing bong added milk dork, dominated love slave and gayson to jimmy neutron

 

 

bing bong: evening fellas

 

milk dork: full offence but it's 1am and we have school tomorrow

bing bong: i know it's exciting

 

milk dork: not at all  

 

bing bong: we r movin up the food chain fellas

 

dominated love slave: oh no billies gonna eat the new freshman

 

bing bong: cronch cronch fellas

 

milk dork: you've said fellas three times now please stop

 

gayson: uh why am I here?

 

dominated love slave: billie whom is that

 

bing bong: that's jason

bing bong: it said i couldn't make a group w/ just 3 of us so i added him as well

 

milk dork: hi Jason

 

gayson: hello

 

dominated love slave: sum1 play fortnite

 

bing bong: no it's trashy and boring

 

dominated love slave: you're trashy and boring

 

gayson: im going to sleep goodnight

 

bing bong: sleep tight

 

dominated love slave: don't let billie eat your asshole

 

bing bong: ;)

 

milk dork: i just sighed so loud i wish u could have heard it.. it might convince to BEHAVE

 

gayson: something is telling me to leave this chat right now

 

bing bong: :-(

 

dominated love slave: don't give the smilys noses it makes them look disturbing

 

bing bong: :-)

 

dominated love slave: :/

 

gayson: please, let me rest

 

milk dork: why is the chat name jimmy neutron

 

bing bong: because he's hawt

 

dominated love slave: jimmy neutron more like jimmy nut-tron amirite fellas

 

gayson: that's it im turning my phone off 

 

dominated love slave: farewell

 

bing bong: so long farewell auf wiedersehen goodbye

 

milk dork: turning my phone off seems like a gr8 idea right about now

 

dominated love slave: do it coward

 

milk dork: no i need my alarm in the morning

 

bing bong: i can be your alarmi'll stand by your bed and SCREEEEEE until you wake up

 

dominated love slave: im incredibly unprepared for school tomorrow would it be acceptable if i just died ?

 

milk dork: please die, you might actually be quiet for once

 

bing bong: uh excuse me sir we have a death pact remember?

 

dominated love slave: aw dang i forgot :( 

 

milk dork: death pact?

 

bing bong: yes me and and tre are going to die together in an explosion created by you

 

milk dork: please leave me out of ur schemes

 

dominated love slave: you can't break the pact mike

 

milk dork: IM NOT EVEN PART OF THE PACT

milk dork: listen, please just go to sleep

 

bing bong: FINE goodnight

 

dominated love slave: goodnight

 

gayson: are you guys really still awake

 

milk dork: OH MY GOD JASON SHUT UP

 

gayson: :(


	2. i'm gay n tired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really sure if I should have an updating schedule or if I should just update when I have some free time. I'm also not sure if I should keep it to just Green Day or add some other bands because I feel like the more people there are, the better it is. Meh, I'll figure something out I guess.

**\- jimmy neutron -**

 

milk dork: guys the school drug dealer got arrested ;_;

milk dork: Billie get online this is a tragedy 

 

dominated love slave: never fear for I am the new school drug dealer

 

gayson: what

 

dominated love slave: Yes

 

gayson: that didn't answer my question

gayson: also, i'm about 90% sure you'll get suspended within a week

 

dominated love slave: well jason i've been selling kids pot out of a closet since freshman year so uhh check your facts

 

milk dork: is that why the old guy was mad at you all the time?

 

dominated love slave: yup he said I was "putting him out of business"

 

milk dork: where the hell is Billie

 

bing bong: I'm gay hi

bing bong: sorry i meant to say i'm here hi

 

gayson: how... did you mess that up

 

bing bong: i'm gay n tired 

bing bong: Mikeyboy are you still coming over later?

 

milk dork: actually uh, I have plans with someone

 

gayson: ooh

 

dominated love slave: so who's the lucky guy?

 

milk dork: for the last time Tre i'm not gay

milk dork: HER name is brit

 

bing bong: brit as in britain?

bing bong: is she british?

bing bong: DOES SHE HAVE AN ACCENT

 

milk friend: brit as in brittney you dumbfuck, and no she isn't british

 

gayson: billie why are you so obsessed with mike's love life

 

bing bong: Because there's no way he's straight 

 

milk dork: i can assure you i am 100% straight

 

dominated love slave: so is a noodle until it gets wet ;)

 

bing bong: So.. we should dunk mike in some water until he admits he isnt straight?

 

dominated love slave: bingo.

 

milk dork: Please don't

 

gayson: hey, if Mike says he's straight then he's straight 

 

milk dork: thank you Jason

 

bing bong: you fool

bing bong: how can you still be so blind

 

milk dork: billie be quiet

 

 

**\- bing bong & dominated love slave - **

 

dominated love slave: so when are we gonna talk about it

 

bing bong: talk about what?????

 

dominated love slave: the very obvious crush you have on mike

dominated love slave: duh

 

bing bong: lmao what?? I don't have a crush on mike he's my best friend that would be weird

 

dominated love slave: suuuuuuure

 

bing bong: tre i swear 

 

dominated love slave: don't worry your secret is safe with me ;)))

 

bing bong: I don't have a secret tre

bing bong: i really don't have a crush on mike

bing bong: the end.

 

dominated love slave: so you're completely fine with him having plans with this "brit" girl

 

bing bong: yes

bing bong: kinda

bing bong: fuck off tre i hate you 

 

dominated love slave: told you ;)


	3. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**\- bing bong & milk dork -**

 

bing bong: whatever tre says, just ignore it

 

milk dork: he hasn't said anything but ok?

 

bing bong: when he does say something just ignore it please

bing bong: he's being a little shit again

 

milk dork: should we keep him on a leash?

 

bing bong: i would make a bdsm joke right now but i'm having a crisis so it'll have to wait

 

milk dork: oh shit, are you ok? 

 

bing bong: eh. nothing i can't handle

bing bong: gotta blast. this boy has a class he should have been in 16 minutes ago

 

milk dork: have fun 

 

 

**\- milk dork & dominated love slave -**

 

milk dork: billie's being weird abt something

milk dork: he told me to ignore what you say to me

 

dominated love slave: oh did he now 

 

milk dork: what's going on?

 

dominated love slave: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

milk dork: tre don't do that

 

dominated love slave: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

milk dork: tre i'm serious 

 

dominated love slave: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

milk dork: tre please behave

 

dominated love slave: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

milk friend: why am i friends with you?

 

dominated love slave: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 

**\- jimmy neutron -**

 

gayson: why is this chat dead today?

 

dominated love slave: because we're well behaved young adults who respect school rules and don't text during class

 

bing bong: tre i literally just witnessed you rolling a joint under your desk

 

dominated love slave: shh

 

milk dork: can you not go five minutes without breaking a rule

 

dominated love slave: i can only count to 4

 

gayson: that sounds right

 

bing bong: soooooooo

bing bong: michael

bing bong: how were your "plans" ;)

 

milk dork: i cancelled them actually

 

dominated love slave: oH

 

bing bong: interesting.. why?

 

gayson: jesus christ billie he doesn't have to tell you everything

 

dominated love slave: shut up jason yes he does 

dominated love slave: it was in our friendship pact when we met all those years ago

 

milk dork: i cancelled because i realized i'm really not into brit that way

milk dork: it sounds mean, i know, but idk

 

bing bong: i see... very interesting 

 

dominated love slave: very interesting indeed

 

milk dork: OK NO I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING

milk dork: THIS DOESN'T MEAN I'M GAY

 

bing bong: we didn't say that

 

milk dork: seriously... just because you guys are gay it doesn't mean I am too

 

gayson: i'm not gay?

 

milk dork: i was talking to billie and tre but good to know

milk dork: thanks for sharing jason 

 

dominated love slave: *homoromantic 

 

milk dork: hm?

 

dominated love slave: i'm homoromantic 

 

milk dork: you're what?

 

dominated love slave: i'm asexual

dominated love slave: but i still want all the gay shit minus the sex

 

bing bong: seriously mike do you not pay attention to us at all

 

milk dork: in my defence you're usually talking about something wildly inappropriate or completely off topic or even both

 

bing bong: that ... is very true atcually 


	4. juju on that beat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long :( I promise to update sooner next time!!

**\- dominated love slave & gayson - **

 

dominated love slave: yo jason

dominate love slave: jasy

dominated love slave: jay jay

dominated love slave: jujubean

dominated love slave: juju on that beat

dominated love slave: jason on that beat

 

gayson: are you quite done

 

dominated love slave: i am indeed

 

gayson: what do you want

 

dominated love slave: fuck

dominated love slave: i don't remember

 

gayson: are-

gayson: are you serious right now

 

dominated love slave: yes?

 

gayson: it's the middle of the goddamn night and you don't remember why you woke me up?

 

dominated love slave: WAIT i remember

dominated love slave: no i don't never mind goodnight 

 

gayson: i'm-

gayson: whA T ?

 

 

 

**\- jimmy neutron -**

 

 

milk dork: good morning tre was harassing jason at 4am

 

bing bong: tre that's rude apologize to him

 

dominated love slave: sorry juju

 

gayson: you are not forgiven 

 

milk dork: juju?

 

dominated love slave: don't question it 

 

bing bong: juju on that beat

bing bong: jASON ON THAT BEAT

 

dominated love slave: yes!!!!

 

milk dork: you 2 are strange 

 

bing bong: juju on that beat 

bing bong: juju on that beat

bing bong: now sli de  D r O p 

bing bong: hit dem folks dont StoP aYE

bing bong: d o n t  s t o p  AYEEEE

 

dominated love slave: runnin man on that beat

dominated love slave: runnin man on that beat

dominated love slave: i don't know the rest of the song AYE

 

gayson: thank God

 

milk dork: hey jason why don't we make our own chat where we don't randomly break out into song

 

gayson: sounds good 

 

dominated love slave: :-(

 

bing bong: /.\

 

milk dork: stop it

 

bing bong: NOBODY IN THIS FAMILY UNDERSTANDS ME

 

 

\- bing bong left -

 

\- milk dork added bing bong - 

 

 

dominated love slave: sorry to derail but i keep misreading bing bong as big ben

 

bing bong: ooh

 

 

\- bing bong changed his name to big ben -

 

 

big ben: BONG BONG BONG

 

milk dork: oh my god what are you doing now?

 

big ben: y'know.... clock noises? BONG BONG BONG

 

gayson: if you want to sound like a clock just keep the name bing bong

gayson: because i'm pretty sure big ben makes a "bing bong" sound instead of "bong bong"

 

big ben: shit u right

 

 

\- big ben changed his name to bing bong -

 

 

milk dork: a series of events

 

dominated love slave: iconic

 

 

 

**\- bing bong & dominated love slave -**

 

dominated love slave: i saw you making Heart Eyes™ at michael earlier

 

bing bong: oh .my g O D shU t UP

 

dominated love slave: it's adorable 

 

bing bong: sghdjkh stopppppp

bing bong: is it really /that/ obvious 

 

dominated love slave: yup :/

dominated love slave: also i'm about 80% sure jason knows now too

 

bing bong: oh goddddddddd PLEASE tell him not to tell mike

 

dominated love slave: on it B)

 

 

 

**\- dominated love slave & gayson -**

 

 

dominated love slave: what's up homeslice don't tell mike that billie has a Major crush on him ok thanks xoxo

 

gayson: billie has a WHAt on WHOMSt

 

dominated love slave: wait........ you didn't know?

 

gayson: no!!!!! 

 

dominated love slave: haha yikes

dominated love slave: but don't tell mike ANYTHING

dominated love slave: mmkay bye 

 

gayson: :O


	5. Big Gay Feelings™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late again, I know, I'm sorry :(((( 
> 
> So, I really want to add more people (even though I'll probably regret it IDK) but out of the usual bands that are in these group chat AUs, the only one I actually like is Panic! at the Disco (no hate to Fall Out Boy, MCR, etc, I just don't really like their music)   
> Would you guys (all 2 of you who care about this) be mad if I added them in? If I do, it would only be Brendon and Dallon, because I don't know anything about the other old members at all. Fake fan alert :/
> 
> Unrelated, but I just realized how Goddamn serious I sound all the time because of my use of proper grammar/capital letters in the notes. I sound like somebody's 50-year-old aunt on Facebook or something...

bing bong added dominated love slave and gayson to jimmy neutron except mike isnt here

 

 

gayson: why have you made a new group without mike

 

bing bong: because I need to speak to you without mike knowing?? obviously *eye roll emoji*

 

dominated love slave: billie just type the emoji instead of describing it

 

bing bong: thERE ARE SO MANY I CAN NEVER FIND WHICH ONE I'M LOOKING FOR

bing bong: anyway,

bing bong: so both of you know that I have indeed caught the Big Gay Feelings™ for Mike

 

gayson: yes Tre told me

 

bing bong: I-

bing bong: he WHAT

 

dominated love slave: I'M SORRY I THOUGHT HE ALREADY KNEW

 

bing bong: can I trust NO ONE? 

bing bong: ok abort mission I'm not telling y'all ANYTHING anymore goodday sirs!

 

 

\- bing bong left -

 

 

 

**\- jimmy neutron -**

 

 

bing bong: good morning!

 

milk dork: you sound happy

 

bing bong: Yes! I have decided to never trust anyone ever again!

 

milk dork: oh?

milk dork: I'm guessing Tre did something?

 

bing bong: you are guessing correctly 

 

dominated love slave: hey 

dominated love slave: now

dominated love slave: you're an all star

 

gayson: don't.

gayson: can you change your name please my parents saw it come up on my screen yesterday and they thought I was in some online porn group or something

 

dominated love slave: oh but this IS an online porn group ;)

 

milk dork: didn't you say you're ace?

 

dominated love slave: my body may be ace but my mind sure as hell isn't

 

milk dork: that makes no sense whatsoever 

 

dominated love slave: Yeah that sounded funnier in my head

dominated love slave: but yes jaosn i will change my name so to please your parents

dominated love slave: even though dominated love slave is ICONIC 

 

gayson: "jaosn"

 

 

\- dominated love slave changed his name to the finger fucker -

 

 

bing bong: FINGER FUCKER ICANTBREATHE

 

milk dork: TRE

 

the finger fucker: whipdab

 

gayson: ... 

gayson: i cant 

 

bing bong: slugs

 

milk dork: ??

 

bing bong: sorry wrong chat

 

the finger fucker: slugs are always welcome here

 

gayson: no they aren't

 

the finger fucker: oh shit

the finger fucker: billie you better leave then :/

 

milk dork: KLDEKLDEJKLDjkl

 

bing bong: don't laugh at me it hurts my feelings :-(

 

the finger fucker: what did i say about giving the smileys noses? do not do it it is DISTURING

 

bing bong: hold up

bing bong: do y'all expect me to believe mike is straight when he literally just keysmashed 

bing bong: keysmashing is gay culture everyoen knows it

 

milk dork: sorry but i'm still straight 

 

bing bong: then you're culturally appropriating keysmashing and i will not stand for it

bing bong: i want you out of my house

 

 

\- bing bong removed milk dork -

 

 

bing bong: okay good I was looking for an excuse to remove him so I can talk to you two privately 

 

gayson: we could have just used the other chat but ok

 

bing bong: nope I left that chat for Dramatic Effect™

bing bong: which i am now seeing was a Bad Decision™

 

the finger fucker: ok so what do we need to talk about privately 

 

bing bong: am i being #obvious again

 

gayson: no

 

the finger fucker: yes

 

bing bong: how????/

 

the finger fucker: well, whenever mike messages the group you start smiling

the finger fucker: it's cute and sickening at the same time

 

bing bong: leave me n my Big Gay Feelings™ for mike alone :-(

 

the finger fucker: please stop putting noses on your smileys its unsettling :/

 

bing bong: :-/

 

the finger fucker: YOU'RE ON THIN FUCKIN ICE BUDDY

 

gayson: mike is harrassing me i gotta add him back

 

 

\- gayson added milk dork -

 

 

milk dork: billie you thot that was rude and uncalled for 

milk dork: wait whats that about Big Gay Feelings™

 

bing bong: dsjh FUC K

 

 

\- bing bong removed milk dork -

 

 

the finger fucker: AAAAAAAAAA

 

bing bong: I DIDNT THINK HE COULD SEE THE MESSAGES WHAT THE FUCK

bing bong: DO YOU THINK HE SAW ALL OF IT

 

gayson: you removed him at the speed of light so i don't think so but still

gayson: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

the finger fucker: ok ok delete the messages real quick

 

bing bong: done and done i'm freaking the FUCK out though 

 

 

\- the finger fucker added milk dork -

 

 

milk dork: blease

milk dork: do not remove me again

milk dork: so who do you have Big Gay Feelings™ for huh?

 

bing bong: NO ONE GO AWYA

 

the finger fucker: i'm-

the finger fucker: he just got up and ran out of class

 

milk dork: what the hell is he okay?

 

gayson: yikes

 

 

 

**\- the finger fucker & bing bong -**

 

 

the finger fucker: are you ok bud?

 

bing bong: no

bing bong: had a panic attack in the bathroom 

 

the finger fucker: oh shit i'm coming right now

the finger fucker: bringing weed & snacks

 

bing bong: thank u 

 

the finger fucker: mike's like,,, super worried about you btw

the finger fucker: jason told him your Big Gay Feelings™ are for steve from stranger things so its all good there

 

bing bong: ok good that's believable

bing bong: jonathan is where its at though ;)


	6. mike likes dick club 2k18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of you guys don't want me to add anyone else so I probably won't, but I might like, mention the Panic! members (the two that I know) every now and then? But if anyone doesn't want me to I won't, so...

**\- milk dork & the finger fucker -**

 

 

milk dork: tre my boy

milk dork: can i tell you something 

 

the finger fucker: its almost midnight this must be interesting

 

milk dork: i don't think i'm completely straight 

 

the finger fucker: well yeah that was pretty obvious

the finger fucker: billie will be Thrilled

 

milk dork: NO DONT TELL HIM

 

the finger fucker: what the fuck why

 

milk dork: because

milk dork: fuck

milk dork: you better not tell anyone anything

milk dork: but i think i like him?

 

the finger fucker: wha T 

the finger fucker: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS 

 

milk dork: TRE I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU SAY ONE WORD TO ANYONE I WILL RIP YOUR DICK OFF

 

the finger: yikes ok message received 

 

 

 

**\- the finger fucker & gayson -**

 

 

the finger fucker: jasonnnnn

the finger: I HAVE NEWS

 

gayson: no go away its midnight i need to sleep 

 

the finger fucker: MIKE ISNT STRAIGHT AND HE LIKES BILLIE

 

gayson: i-

gayson: jesus christ this is a Mess™ im going back to sleep goodnight

 

 

 

**\- jimmy neutron -**

 

 

bing bong: got kicked out of class lads ;p

 

milk dork: what did you do this time

 

bing bong: some foreskin-looking motherfucker told me i couldnt sit by him because he was "saving the seat for his friend" so i was like "actually MEGAN i cant sit anywhere i have hemmeroids" 

bing bong: so then he was like "whoever threw that paper ya moms a hoe"

bing bong: and i was like "dont fuck with me i have the power of god and anime on my side AAAAAA"

bing bong: and then the teacher sent us both to the office

 

the finger fucker: an icon wow i stan

 

gayson: "some foreskin-looking motherfucker" icantbreathe

 

milk dork: *hemorrhoids 

 

bing bong: do i look like the type of person who has time to spell hemroods properly 

 

milk dork: HEMROODS

milk dork: WHAT

 

bing bong: and yes jason he looks like a literal foreskin 

bing bong: i dont like him

 

the finger fucker: but he recited those vines FLAWLESSLY 

 

bing bong: yes tre he did but his tone was very rude i do not like him

 

bing bong: ABORT MISSION HE JUST SAT DOWN NEXT TO ME

 

gayson: finish him

 

milk dork: stop encouraging him to get into trouble I don't want him to get expelled :(

 

bing bong: aw you love me :-)

 

milk dork: what

milk dork: no

 

the finger fucker: STOP WITH THE NOSES BILLIE I SWEAR TO GOD

the finger fucker: ima come chill w/ you outside the office 

 

bing bong: please do i don't want to be alone with foreskin 

 

gayson: stop calling him foreskin 

 

bing bong: i will not

 

the finger fucker: OH MY GOD BILLIE DO YOU KNOW WHO FORSAKEN IS 

the finger fucker: kdjks *fortune 

the finger fucker: NO *FORESKIN 

 

milk dork: ah yes, my favorite part of the penis; the forsaken 

 

the finger fucker: oh so you admit you like dick ;)

 

milk dork: what no that isnt what i meant

milk dork: tre i swear to god

 

bing bong: mike likes dick club 2k18

 

milk dork: mike does not like dick club 2k18

 

bing bong: mike stop lying to us club 2k18

 

the finger fucker: billie pay atention to me club 2k18

 

gayson: everyone stop saying club 2k18 club 2k18

 

the finger fucker: the foreskin kid is brendon urie

the finger: he's one of my regulars 

 

milk dork: are you a prostitute now or something

 

the finger fucker: no dickshit i sell pot 

 

gayson: "dickshit"

 

bing bong: i have no idea who brendon is but I will continue to refer to him as foreskin 

bing bong: ABORT HE JUST SAW ME TYPE THAT KSJDJS

 

milk dork: this is so sad alexa play despacito 

 

the finger fucker: MIKE

 

 

 

**\- the finger fucker & gayson -**

 

 

gayson: question; why aren't you telling mike that billie likes him or billie that mike likes him

 

the finger fucker: because both of them asked me not to say anything and I am Loyal Friend

 

gayson: just seems like we could save a whole lot of trouble but ok

 

the finger fucker: don't question my motives 

the finger fucker: if i tell billie that mike likes him, mike will skin me alive.. if i tell mike that billie likes him, billie will skin me alive

 

gayson: or

gayson: hear me out

gayson: they're happy because they both like each other

 

the finger: come on jason you know that shit only happens in fanfictions

 


	7. disrespectful fucktruck

**\- jimmy neutron -**

 

 

bing bong: hello i am a  **S W E A T Y B O I**

 

milk dork: why

 

bing bong: because tre made me play soccer with him

 

the finger fucker: billie don't be so dramatic you kicked the ball twice, then got hit in the face and decided to sit the rest of it out

 

bing bong: hEY

bing bong: IT HURT

 

gayson: hol up

gayson: are you telling me

gayson: that BILLIE

gayson: played SPORTS????

 

the finger fucker: he played for ten minutes 

 

bing bong: well unlike you tre i do not have unlimited energy

bing bong: SERIOUSLY he ran around after a ball for over an hour and he's still bouncing around now someone contain him

 

milk dork: we love our hyperactive son 

 

gayson: tre is our son now?

 

milk dork: no

milk dork: tre is mine and billie's son

milk dork: ur the weird uncle

 

gayson: thanks?

 

bing bong: oh so we're a couple now ? ;)

bing bong: see u when u come to bed honey xoxo <3

 

milk dork: stop being  an ass

 

 

 

**\- milk dork & the finger fucker -**

 

 

milk dork: KSKSKDHD

milk dork: help me 

milk dork: is he flirting with me or not i can't tell

 

the finger fucker: shit dude idk go talk to him

 

milk dork: NO!

milk dork: u don't understand how much i CANNOT do that

 

the finger fucker: then i can't help you broski 

 

 

 

**\- bing bong & the finger fucker -**

 

 

bing bong: HELP M, E HJDHJDSJHDS

bing bong: was that too much???

bing bong; OH GOD what if he hates me now 

 

the finger fucker: billie,,,,, listen

the finger fucker: u need to talk to mike about this, not me

 

bing bong: nope not doing that

 

the finger fucker: well... then i can't help ya bud

 

 

 

**\- jimmy neutron -**

 

 

gayson: i hate summer it's DISGUSTANG

 

milk dork: salty bitch

 

gayson: i'm sorry but i don't want to fucken melt just from walking 2 minutes down the street

 

bing bong: why do you think i stay inside

 

milk dork: because the thought of socializing with anyone that isn't in this chat terrifies you?

 

bing bong: correct!

 

the finger fucker: has anybody seen my wife

the finger fucker: she has 5 ankles 

 

gayson: what in godS NAME are you talking about tre

 

the finger fucker: oh my bad that was autocorrect

the finger fucker: i meant does anyone want to come to a party tonight

 

bing bong: YES

bing bong: WEED

bing bong: ALCOHOL

bing bong: S E X

 

milk dork; who are you going to have sex with exactly

 

bing bong: idk we'll see where the night takes us ;)

 

milk dork: o, H  ?

 

 

 

**\- milk dork & the finger fucker -**

 

 

milk dork: treeee you have to help me out here is he flirting or just being his usual promiscuous self?

 

the finger fucker: michael my dear... you nEED to talk to billie

the finger fucker: you're literaly driving me insane here

 

milk dork: i'm sorry i don't have any experience with gay love :(

 

the finger: haha virgin

 

milk dork: TRE

 

 

 

**\- bing bong & the finger fucker -**

 

 

bing bong: AM I TAKING THIS TOO FAR SHOULD I Tone It The Fuck Down™ 

 

the finger fucker: oh my goD I DON'T KNOW PLEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE JUST TALK TO MIKE AND WORK IT OUT I'M JUST A SMALL CHILD I CAN'T BE THE RELATIONSHIP ADVISER IN THIS FAMILY 

 

bing bong: you disrespectful fucktruck 

 

 

 

 

**\- bing bong & milk dork -**

 

 

bing bong: alright listen up i have NO FUCKING CLUE how to do this so i'm just gonna uh? say some things that i should have said before

 

milk dork: oh?

 

bing bong: right ok so

bing bong: i'm gay

 

milk dork: billie i've known that since we were 13

 

bing bong: let me finish asswipe

bing bong: i'm gay and you're straight which kind of sucks because

bing bong: well

bing bong: i have Big Gay Feelings™ for you 

 

milk dork: i'm-

milk dork: oh my god

 

bing bong: i'm sorry 

 

milk dork: no no no

milk dork: this is GREAT NEWS

milk dork: because i am in fact Not Straight™ and i, uhhhh, have Gay Feelings™ for you too

 

bing bong: AQLKWJ

bing bong: IM SQUEALING 

 

milk dork: i've never had gay feelings for anyone before so idk if they're big or not but all i know is i kind of want to kiss you?

 

bing bong: i will be very okay with that

 

milk dork: ive been sort of hassling tre about this all week lmao i lowkey feel bad

 

bing bong: wait what

bing bong: i was also hassling tre

 

milk dork: whA  T

milk dork: TRE HAS KNOWN THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME AND HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO EITHER OF US? 

 

bing bong: THAT DIRTY SLUT

 

milk dork: should we fuck with him and pretend you confessed your love to me but i shut you down and now we're not friends?

 

bing bong: well obviously

bing bong: that's the only way we can get back at him


	8. two middle aged suburban moms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God this is so late, I'm so sorry :(

**\- bing bong & milk dork -**

 

 

bing bong: mission objective; 

bing bong: wait fuck

bing bong: what is our mission objective here

 

milk dork: idk?

milk dork: actually, why are we doing this? what's the end game

 

bing bong: huh,,.... idk. maybe just fuck w/ tre for a bit?

 

milk dork: hm, good enough

milk dork: let's go

 

 

 

**\- jimmy neutron -**

 

 

\- milk dork left -

 

 

the finger fucker: owo what's this

 

gayson: say owo one more time i dare you

 

the finger fucker: :(

the finger fucker: but why did mike leave

 

bing bong: he hates me

 

gayson: but y tho

 

bing bong: oh let me see

bing bong: because of tre's stupid advice

bing bong: tElL HiM hOw YoU fEeL

bing bong: yea because that always works out doesnt it

 

the finger fucker: i-

the finger fucker: what

the finger fucker: WHAT HAPPENED I WAS SO SURE IT WOULD WORK OUT

 

gayson: oh he's gone full shipper mode this is Bad™

 

bing bong: i'm not talking about it go away

 

 

\- bing bong left -

 

 

the finger fucker: DJKDJKDJK Dx

 

gayson: please,,, i'm begging you. stop

gayson; my wife and children are afraid

 

 

 

**\- bing bong & milk dork -**

 

 

bing bong: the deed hath been done

 

milk dork: yup he's spamming me

milk dork: maybe this was a bad idea he seems genuinely upset about this

 

bing bong: yea why... why are we doing this

 

milk dork: idk

milk dork: should we just Not?

 

bing bong: good plan

 

 

 

**\- bing bong & gayson -**

 

 

bing bong: ayeeee jayjay

bing bong: add me back into the chat

 

gayson: are u ok?

 

bing bong: oh yea i'm gucci

bing bong: we were just fucking w/ tre it worked out fne

 

gayson: omg!!!!!!!!!

 

bing bong: yeaaaa so add me back in 

 

 

 

**\- jimmy neutron -**

 

 

\- gayson added bing bong -

 

 

bing bong: evening all

bing bong: i expect ur wondering why i asked jason to add me back

 

gayson: "evening all" you say to an audience of one

 

bing bong: where's tte

bing bong: *tre

 

gayson: he's been MIA since u said it didn't work out

gayson: unrelated but i pronounced tte as titty in my head

 

 

 

\- the finger fucker changed his name to titty cool -

 

 

titty cool: 8)

 

bing bong: TRE

bing bong: HELLO

 

titty cool: holla

 

bing bong: mike had this gr8 plan to lie to you about us not working out but it didn't really have an end goal?

bing bong: so the lying ends here michael and i are Gay™ together 

 

titty cool: DFGHJK

titty cool: ARE YALL SERIOUS

titty cool: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

titty cool: this is so kawaii

 

gayson: begone you fucking weeb

 

 

\- bing bong added milk dork -

 

 

bing bong: MIKE

bing bong: tre stans us now 

 

milk dork: did.. did he just say k*waii

 

titty cool: leave me alone i'm easily excited 

 

gayson: yes leave him alone he's easily excited

 

bing bong: ooooooooh

bing bong: we get to do Couple Things™ now

bing bong: like go on dates

bing bong: and share clothes

bing bong: and buy a house in the suburbs

bing bong: get a dog

bing bong: 2 kids

bing bong: make casseroles

bing bong: go 2 our kids sports events 

bing bong: join the pta 

bing bong: drive a minivan 

 

milk dork: i didn't realize we're two middle aged suburban moms

**Author's Note:**

> I live for these AUs, okay? And I know there are hundreds of them but I've only found a few that have Green Day in them, which sucks. So I figured; why not write my own?


End file.
